We are burdened by the outcome. When we rely on specific results we are basing our own freedom and joy on a specific scenario. “I must get this big raise” or “I must get everyone to like me” because “that is the only way I will be happy!”

We bet all of our money on an exterior thing. We’re all in on one scenario. We depend on the money or the lover or the politician to feel whole. That is us using an exterior, out of our control, scenario to fulfill our own identify of self.

What does that thing we depend on bring us that is inaccessible in this given moment? Think critically about what it is that this dream scenario brings you.

Does a big promotion give you more wealth and does that wealth give you a new car? What is the point of the new car? Status? What does status give you? Self importance? What does self importance give you? Respect for yourself? What does respect for yourself give you? Love?

In that situation, our own love is entirely depended on a promotion. My god, that is a lot of effort! When we are unable to love what we perceive to be unlovable we go to great lengths to find alternatives to this. That’s how we build our dependencies for happiness.

How do you love yourself? By bringing your awareness back to this given moment. While the awareness is there, focus on the thing that you can love in this moment. From there, slowly expand it outward to meet the loving joy for the act of loving something.